Formed under crushing pressures and intense heat, not stirred.
Not all Martini earrings are the same. Just so there's no confusion, we've compiled a handy cheat sheet for you.
The Dirty Martini Earring - accidentally fell into the sink drain and had to be fished out.
The Gin Martini Earring - the most toxic of all the martini earrings. Slowly poisons you as you wear them.
The Cosmo Martini Earring - whines about never finding true love then cheats on the best boyfriend in the world with a pretentious douche.
The Appletini Earring - a favorite of college girls and horny frat boys alike.
The Vesper Martini Earring - loves you and leaves you. Totally worth it.