My spirit animal is a disembodied walking shoe. What's yours?
Wear these shoes: If you have some walking to do.
Don't wear these shoes: If you have some insider trading to do. We don't want to be associated with that.
At a karaoke bar, these shoes would sing: Anything from the Beatles' Rubber Soul album. GET IT?!
The only way to make these shoes better would be: If they came with optional warming holes.
If you wore these, people would say: "Looks like Charlie's out walking the DAWGs again." And then you'd probably say, "Stop calling me Charlie. That's not even my name."