The secret of great watches is all in the timing.
Wear this and they shall call you: Crazy watch man! Depending on how crazy you are. Also depending on if you are a man.
If you owned this, people would say: “Oh, hi! What’s up?” (They might say this to you with or without the watch.)
When it's cold outside, this stays warm by: Shivering. The vibrations act as a nice wrist massage.
In a tell-all biography, it was revealed that this product: Secretly harbored an addiction to overeating at greasy fast food restaurants, despite having spent years as a successful professional chef and reality television personality.