Some ban-dos and ban-don'ts for your new bandeaus.
Ban-do: buy one set of these for yourself. Wear it with layers or as a cute top in warm weather.
Ban-don’t: hesitate to share the bandeaus in this 6-pack with five of your best girlfriends. Or boyfriends. Or casual acquaintances.
Ban-do: avoid sharing personal information with your casual acquaintances. Some of your neighbors are starting to not feel comfortable around you.
Ban-don’t: forget to always avoid not preventing confrontations with your neighbors from escalating. Their house is never not going to be next to yours so it’s not bad to handle things in a way that isn’t immature.
Ban-do: not ever think that it’s not a good idea to use these bandeaus like a slingshot to hurl rotting eggs over your neighbor’s fence.
Ban-don’t: let it stop you if you don’t have any eggs that aren’t hard-boiled. You know what they say: “An egg isn’t ever not an egg!”
Ban-do: not worry if your neighbors decide that they don’t need to keep the police uninvolved in this situation.
Ban-don’t: admit anything to the police, but don’t be shy about volunteering to provide them with a statement on the incident.
Ban-do: not stop using double negatives when you don’t not give your statement to the police. Do not not not let them leave without not not getting so confused that they totally don’t not not know what did or didn’t not happen.
Ban-don’t: not not use double negatives in your list of dos and don’ts. It just isn’t not unclear when you don’t not do that, and everyone doesn’t know what you aren’t not talking about anymore.