Like a marshmallow from the ashes, I rise ...
Wear this watch: if you like it hot. We hear some do.
Don't wear this watch: if you are about to burst into flames. It'd be a waste.
Left to its own devices, this watch would: subsist on nothing but s'mores.
Benjamin Franklin once said of Phoenix: "Dry heat, my ass!"
When it's cold outside, this watch stays warm by: Duh.