Make an Investment With a Guaranteed Return

Good afternoon. I’m calling you today from Stockington Oakwood Investments. How are you?

I’m doing just fine thanks for asking. I’m actually calling today to tell you about an exciting investment opportunity we have here at our company—

The stock market? Oh no, this isn’t an investment in the stock market. We all know how stocks can be: one day they’re up, the next they’re down.

The opportunity I’d like to present you with today is an investment with a guaranteed return. This isn’t something that’s going to make you rich, but it’s not going to make you poor either. It’s mostly going to make you comfortable. And stylish.
 
I’m not talking about stocks, of course. I’m talking about socks!

Yes, that’s right! At this moment in time I have a limited number of socks available that are priced significantly below their full market value. This is your opportunity to get in on the sock market while the market is hot!

Or, at least, while the socks are still warm from being in the dryer.

Before you hang up, please, just let me finish. What if I told you that I could put you in for a mere $9.99 and take you out at 10 pairs of socks? What if I told you I could put you in at $11.99 and take you out at a whopping 12 pairs of socks? You wouldn’t be saying to me right now: “Get me as many pairs of socks as you have, on the spot, right now!”

I promise, if you just give me one shot on guaranteed socks like these, then believe me, the only problem you’re going to have is that you didn’t buy more.

Sound fair enough?

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