Alert! Alert! New watch alert!

Use This: for telling time and telling everyone else something about your personality via your fashion choices.

The only way to make this better would be: if it was big enough to put it on your dog’s neck as a collar. Then you’d have a watch dog! Heh heh…

When it's cold outside, this stays warm by: donning a tiny fur coat. A faux-fur coat. This watch has a conscience.

This product grants its owner: entry into the most top secret clubs and restaurants. If you can find them, this will get you through the door. But good luck finding them.

In a tell-all biography, it was revealed that this product: was adopted as an infant and reconnected with its birth parents as an adult. It was a happy reunion!

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