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You could attempt to get your pens from PenIsland.com. But that's the thing about web browsers. They don't differentiate between caps and no caps and spaces between words. And what are you going to tell your wife when she sees your search history and finds something totally unrelated to pens? Better safe than sorry. Get your pens here.
They say that they're mightier than the sword. But what they don't take into account is, if you're fighting a guy with a sword, and he kills you, you're not even going to get a chance to write something nasty about him that would totally ruin his reputation. I think they should revise the saying to, "The pen is mightier than the sword ... if you survive. And really only then if you have some good dirt on the guy."