Tactical User-Centric Quality Vectors In Effect
If you’re reading this, you might be guilty of stealing our content. Please cover your eyes and give us some money.
To: All Department Heads
From: Woot HQ
It’s come to our attention that a great many people are here each day, enjoying our write-ups and not actually paying for a single damn thing. In the past, we’ve considered these visitors as loss leaders. However, in these delicate times, our “little gifts of genius” become low-hanging fruit, and we need a new mindset per the methodology. Our newly implemented paradigm gives us an opportunity to recontextualize our skill set until the synergy validates our transition and the peak optimization curve becomes a known good. We’ll be testing this new method alongside the sale of the Invicta Men’s Speedway Watch.
We picked the Invicta Speedway Watch as our go-to action item because it’s a really nice chronograph and it's water resistant to 660 feet, which means you’ll even be able to tell time in a flood. Additionally, we highly recommend every staffer purchase one as we will no longer accept “caught in a flood” as an excuse for tardiness.
Our new system operates as follows: a visitor to the site immediately has a clear and present decision tree. They can buy the Invicta Speedway Watch, or they can walk away. Those who purchase the watch will immediately see a fantastic write-up. And those who don’t purchase one will get to read this memo.
As the memo is a perfectly tolerable form of entertainment first invented by the Greeks, we feel that visitors will understand, and in fact come to quickly respect, our new structure. They can then feel free to enjoy the memo over and over again, for free, any time they like. However, if they want to see the actual write-up, they’ll have to buy an Invicta Speedway Watch.
Of course, on the first day of the test, we expect a few issues. Obviously one or two people will buy the watch and then rush back to read the amazing write-up, but due to a tiny little bug, they’ll only see this memo. Crap happens. But for most people … wow, they’ll be so amazed that they’ll run and tell everyone on the forums how great the real write-up is, and all those people will have to buy watches, and soon, the whole world’s got an Invicta Speedway Watch and our content is safe.
Assuming our new system works, the age of free information will finally be over. After we touch base in the post-survey validation period on Monday, we’ll likely be able to set the exploratory task force to work at sending out feelers to find those bold pioneers who, like us, understand that each thing you give away is a thing you can’t sell. We’re sure that our new direction will only serve to cement our reputation as an online leader that people can trust when they want content that they can’t ever tell anyone else about under any circumstance.
And most importantly, at the end of the day, it’ll conceptualize our accountability benchmarks towards a globalized cross-platform monetization-enabled knowledge-base. Really, isn’t that our target market anyway?
Features
This dauntless Invicta makes a bold statement with its intricate detail and design, personifying a gallant structure.
- Stainless steel
- Chronograph quartz movement
- Water resistant up to 660 feet
Shipping Note: Shipping to APO, Military and PO Box addresses not available for this item
Warranty: 1 year Manufacturer
Specs
Specifications | |
---|---|
Movement: | Japanese quartz |
Dial Window Material: | Mineral crystal |
Case Material: | Stainless steel |
Case Diameter: | 41 mm |
Case Thickness: | 13 mm |
Clasp: | Deployant |
Band Material: | Stainless steel |
Band Width: | 19 mm |
Band Length: | Up to 8.75" |
Case Back: | Screw-down |
Bezel: | Stainless Steel |
Bezel Function: | Tachymeter |
Crown: | Screw-down |
Calendar: | Date display between 4:00 and 5:00 |
Water Resistance: | 200 meters/660 feet |
Weight: | 150 grams |
Origin: | China |
In the Box:
(1) Invicta Speedway 14929 Chronograph, 18k Gold Plated
-OR
(1) Invicta Speedway 14930 Chronograph, Two-Tone 18k Gold Plated
-OR-
(1) Invicta Speedway 14381 Chronograph, Silver
-OR-
(1) Invicta Speedway 14382 Chronograph, Blue
Specs
Specifications | |
---|---|
Movement: | Japanese quartz |
Dial Window Material: | Mineral crystal |
Case Material: | Stainless steel |
Case Diameter: | 41 mm |
Case Thickness: | 13 mm |
Clasp: | Deployant |
Band Material: | Stainless steel |
Band Width: | 19 mm |
Band Length: | Up to 8.75" |
Case Back: | Screw-down |
Bezel: | Stainless Steel |
Bezel Function: | Tachymeter |
Crown: | Screw-down |
Calendar: | Date display between 4:00 and 5:00 |
Water Resistance: | 200 meters/660 feet |
Weight: | 150 grams |
Origin: | China |
In the Box:
(1) Invicta Speedway 14929 Chronograph, 18k Gold Plated
-OR
(1) Invicta Speedway 14930 Chronograph, Two-Tone 18k Gold Plated
-OR-
(1) Invicta Speedway 14381 Chronograph, Silver
-OR-
(1) Invicta Speedway 14382 Chronograph, Blue
Sales Stats
- Speed to First Woot:
- 25m 39.555s
Purchaser Experience
Purchaser Seniority
Quantity Breakdown
Percentage of Sales Per Hour
12 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
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